Dear mommy,                                                                                                                                                           Have you ever wondered why I came out crying?

If you ever asked the doctors, I’m sure they told you that the cry was brought on by the shock of suddenly popping out from a warm, soothing, dark space into a cold, bright, loud world, through a ‘teeny weeny’ hole that was about 5 times smaller than me.

On one level, I would say they were right. But, there is another side to the story…

You see, from that very first moment you found out about me, I fell in love with you. How couldn’t I when right from your insides, I felt your infectious excitement. You were so delighted just knowing I was ‘there’. You couldn’t help telling everyone about me and you made me giggle whenever, out of the blues, you always found a way to bring me into every conversation. Clearly, your world suddenly revolved around me.

I remember the day you made poor daddy sit down for a whole 40 minutes, waiting to feel me move. For me, it was like a game of hide and seek as you guys struggled to keep up with my rather erratic pokes. Each poke made you squeal in delight and I couldn’t help but think that if you were this excited about someone you hadn’t met, then you had to be a very nice lady.

But, in the 39th week, everything gradually started to change.

I knew you had wanted me out by the 38th week and trust me, I too wanted me out because I couldn’t wait to meet you.

But somehow, it wasn’t happening that early and that was when you became really grumpy. You stopped singing songs to me. Unlike before, you hardly spoke to me and it was no longer about you being excited to meet me. Now, it was about you just wanting me to come out of you. Notice the difference? Slight, but deep!

What was even more hurtful was the fact that you kept complaining about my weight on you. Honestly you started to make me feel like there was something wrong with my weight and that wasn’t a good feeling at all.

Then finally, when the day came for me to meet you, I thought you’ll immediately forget about the long wait and begin to spin over with excitement. But I couldn’t be more wrong as I watched you transform into this mean, grouchy stranger.

Yeah, I know you were in pains but did you really need to say all those mean things to all those nice people who were only trying to help you?

Also, I still don’t understand why you kept blaming dad for ‘everything’ and tell me, why in the world did you scream that he must never touch you again? Do you know you sounded very mean?

In all of this, what was pleasantly surprising was that my daddy was really awesome as he patiently stayed by your side through it all. By the way, do you realize he was only trying to help when he asked you where you hurt the most? And as for him passing out…well, you didn’t get to see the excruciating sight of me struggling hard to get through that tiny door of yours. It was pretty bloody and He had no choice but to see it all!

Anyway, I finally got out. But I was so terrified by your all new, mean streak that clenching my fists and eyes shut, I cried like a baby as the doctor dropped me in your arms. I prepared myself for the worst but was shocked when you burst into tears, held me close and mumbled sweet words into my ears. My first thoughts were, ‘I really did get a rollercoaster for a mum’.

Was your nice self only a camouflage of the real mean you? Was I safe, trusting this suddenly resurrected warm, yummy side of you I had grown to love?

It took me 6 weeks to answer that question and when I did, I went on to do something I had never done before. I flashed you my first smile, ever. I had fallen in love with you all over again. Only this time, it was much deeper.

(Pictures courtesy: Huffingtonpost.com, time.com, clker.com, romancemeetslife, diabetescare.net)