HOW MUCH OF MOTHERHOOD CAN YOU HANDLE?
Titi had reached her boiling point. Or so she believed. She was first-time-mom to ‘what’ she considered to be the most demanding 3-month old baby boy ever. She had long since run out of adjectives that aptly described what the ‘boy’ put her through everyday and to make matters worse, she had the typical Nigerian husband who was sure to either work or sleep through the entire drama. Also, he was very against her getting a nanny.
As regards help from extended family, she was an orphan and unfortunately all ‘aunties’ she was aware of were all busy looking after their own grandchildren while her mother-in-law was bed ridden and could obviously be of very little help to her.
Yes, she was fed up and was slowly beginning to relate with those moms who did horrible things to their children just because they couldn’t take ‘it’ anymore. It was for that reason that she was seated alone, in front of her doctor, asking for a tubal ligation. As in, she wanted to get her tubes tied because she couldn’t imagine ever having to go through this ‘torture’ again.
However since she was a 29-year old young mom, the doctor couldn’t help but ask if she was certain about her request. Stubbornly, she said yes. Still, the good doctor was far from convinced. How could a young lady make a decision with such final consequences, all in the heat of the moment? Had she considered the fact that 1, 2, 3 years down the line, she was likely to be filled with regrets as she watches her little baby grow into this incredible, young champ? When the fatigue of the initial months of motherhood wore out, did she really think she will feel the same way about not having more children? Why didn’t she simply go for one of the reversible contraceptive methods?
The doctor looked at her again. Her mind was clearly made up and so was his. He would educate her on the consequences of her request and would insist she takes at least the next 2 years thinking it through before returning back to his office. If 2 years is to long, well, she would just have to seek help elsewhere.
As moms there is sometimes that urge to make very grave decisions, all in the heat of the moment. However we must always remember that no situation is permanent and that is why we must always think through all the possible consequences before making any rash decision. Would you still feel this same way a year, or two or ten from now? Would you still make this same decision then? Or would you be filled with regrets? Trust me, no matter how hard the journey may sometime seem, you’ve been created handle it and that’s why you’re the mom!