Little Girls and Their Daddies…
Here’s the story of a certain little girl I have known for a long time. Story is summarized as recounted by her mom…
So, the little miss and her dad were having one of their many ‘fights’. The fight was over the last piece of chicken and interestingly, this time around, mommy was on her little 5-year old’s side. Not daddy’s side. Mommy even went as far as insisting that daddy should give up the last ‘piece’. After all, the little miss was still a growing child while he was a full grown adult.
Daddy however stubbornly stuck to his decision, insisting that every prior piece had been equally shared. However, when it came to this last chunk, as the adult, it was his right to have the final bite. Hence, that was how little miss lost out in the fight over the last piece of chicken.
Now, the next day, as mommy drove the children to school, little miss blurted out, ‘Mommy, you and I have to say sorry’.
Mommy replied, ‘Sorry for what?’
Little miss replied, ‘We were both naughty’
Mommy – ‘Huh? How was I naughty?’
Little miss – ‘You told my daddy to give me that chicken when he had already said no’
Now, mommy could not believe what she was hearing. There she was, on that fateful day, thinking she was doing a good thing by fighting for her growing daughter’s ‘chicken’ right…But, instead of appreciation, the best the little miss could come up with was some kind of baseless reprimand.
At that point, mommy gave up. She had always heard of little girls and their fathers. You know, they are believed to have this special bond which they never quite grow out of. Well, if mommy had ever thought the bond was some kind of myth, following her first-hand experience, she definitely now thought otherwise.
Yes, the little miss had always thought the world of her dad. Daddy could do no wrong. Or, at least, he did less wrongs than mommy did and he was always the super star of every occasion regardless of whether or not he played any role at all.
Can you in any way relate with this story? Let’s face it, this daddy-daughter bond is something that the duo never quite grow out of. Hence, there is no point fighting ‘it’. Neither is there any point getting jealous because it is something which many of us grown women still share with our dads.
Interestingly, even though the ‘daddy bond’ appears to be owned more by the girls, I believe the boys are not totally left out. Yes, even though boys often get tied to their mommies’ aprons, many of them are still in awe of their dads. Many of them still somehow idolize their dads.
Now, the purpose of this post is not to just make light of the ‘daddy love’ making its rounds. Instead, what i actually want to do is propose what I would call my ‘take-away’ beliefs. Beliefs which i believe will encourage a healthy balance in the home.
So, what do I believe? I believe that the world should have…
1. Less ‘disappearing’ dads and more ‘involved dads. Dads should not just play the natural bonding card to their advantage and then, go a step further by supporting the card with bribes in form of gifts. They should actually earn their privileged position by getting more involved in parenting
2. More dads who, when the need arises, will stand up and be the bad guy, alongside mommy, rather than undermining, overruling or making light of her discipline. As in, don’t make mommy out to be the villain
3. More dads who will respect and love the moms. Hence, indirectly teaching the children to do the same
4. More dads who will be careful about what they ‘do’ and ‘say’, whether or not they think the children are ‘watching’, because they want to be good role models for children who are already in awe of them
5. More moms who will stop trying being super woman all the time and find ways of getting the dads involved in parenting
6. More moms who will include ‘laughing’ and ‘playing’ in their parenting style rather than being all so serious, all the time. You know, let the children know that moms can also be fun.
7. More moms who will actually take care of themselves so that they can actually have the energy to live up to their ‘laughing’ and ‘playing’ resolution
8. More moms who will have their ‘couple fights’ in secret and also go a step further by praying for the ‘stubborn, non-chalant’ dads in secret, rather than fighting them in the presence of the children
9. More moms who will keep doing their part whether or not daddy is helping out, whether or not the children appear to be appreciative or not because, eventually, they will reap the rewards of good parenting
10. More homes where the parents are not in competition with one another, Rather, they keep a united, balanced front of discipline, love and laughter.
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